School O' Hell
by XxStrike2000xX
Summary: Ciel starts his first day of school...And along came Alois. Shmits gonna happen now.   Pure CRACK! O3O Enjoy!
1. Good Luck To Me

**Ciel's Diary- 1st School Day.**

So, Sebastian said to me ''Its time you start educationing'' ...Dont you mean school you fool..Ugh...really? SCHOOL?..I dont need it, Iv been head of the Phantomhive for how long and all the disasters Iv been through NOW you say I go to school? I never even needed education I WAS THE QUEENS GUARDDOG FOR BLOODY SAKE! Calm down Ciel...Just...It will be fine. I will survive...Hopefully.

So I started today and it was just a complete and utter BORE! And to put my in an even worse, someone threw a paper plane at the back of my head and it snagged across the string of my eyepatch and losened it and it slid down my face and onto the table...Everyone was staring at me..''Its alright, I dont have a missing eye, you can go back to your uselessness now..'' I said, and tied it back on. Seriously..

After registration we had to switch rooms for our first lesson. Thank goodness, everyone was still staring at me, like as if I was an Alien or something. My first lesson was on the top floor..How wonderful of a welcome that was. And it was English...Lovely..

I wonder if Alois has been sent to school as well. Probably has, but then again he has no brain so theres no point. As soon as I got to the top floor it was flooded by older students. Probably year 10's and 11's. There were all so tall, and noisy. As soon as I walked past them all, they just stared at me which annoyed me to Hell. Have they not seen anyone with an eyepatch on before? Then I herd someone say ''Did that kid dye his hair blue?''...DO I LOOK LIKE A PUNK PIRATE THING TO YOU? CORE BLIMEY!

The class settled in the room a few minutes later once our teacher had arrived. He was a tall and very skinny-looking man. Bald, and had a mustache that looked like Pluto had burnt half of it off. And these huge glasses which enlargened his eyes...What has England become...

His name was . I wanted to laugh but didnt. He clearly wasnt born here.  
>He was actually really friendly, made us all feel welcome, active and ready to learn. So our first activity was these little coloured cards. He said we had to walk around the room and match it with the other person who had the same coloured card. What is this, Primary school? Well, its a good idea. I had a better one though. I bumped into the person who had the same colour as me and it was a boy with blonde spikey hair and blueish-green eyes. ''Oh, sorry. Oh cool we have the same colour! My name is Earl (LOL) and yours?'' he asked me, he sounded very kind. So I introduced myself. As soon as I said Phantomhive, everyone stopped and stared at me...Crap..<p>

Everyone crowded around me and started asking me questions about what its like being the head of a company and owning a huge mansion, having a Butler and servants and all that stuff. Then Earl said ''Back off everyone, give the Sir some room to breath. Im sure you are just suprised as I am to have the Earl Phantomhive here at the school in our class, but we have to pay him respect. He IS the Queen's Guarddog afterall...Woof woof!'' and that set everyone laughing and acting like a dog. Which I did not approve of. And neither did . So he told everyone to settle down with their partners and we continued on with the learning.

After English we headed over to another classroom for this other activity lesson. We did more moving about this time. We had to act out a specific animal that was given on the pieces of paper we got handed. And guess what I got...(Comment and leave your answer below! ) And yes...I had to do it. As everyone was cheering me on to. SO humiliating. What kind of sick school is this?

Finally it was break time and Earl introduced me to a few other friends of his hes known from Primary school. Then they took me to the back of the building and offered me a CIGAR! BLEGH! Stupid kids.

Break was soon over and we headed to another class, which we stayed in until lunch time. We had to write about us. What our personality is like, what we like and dislike, what we would all like to become when we are older. All of that rubbish. Mine was a page and a half long. Most of the class seemed to be impressed.

And then..A teacher entered the room with a student...saying ''Sorry to disturb your class, but can this boy sit in here for a while please? He keeps disrupting my teaching and I have had enough'' and she left, leaving the boy standing infron of the door staring at the teacher looking all innocent..Until i saw his face...

Two simple words...

Alois...  
>Trancy...<p> 


	2. SSSSKEEEEEWL

**Alois's Diary-ABC'S 123'S**

HELLO MY SHIT EATING MAGGOTS! I STARTED SCHOOL TODAY AND IT WAS SO FUN AND SHIT AT THE SAME TIME! I WAS SO BORED I DREW ON THE BOARD A VERY...very... inappropriate image. Tasty. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-ANYWAYS..Apart from that it was OK I guess. I still dont understand why Claude sent me to school...Like as if Im going to need anything they teach me in the fiture. Im going to become a male stripper and make pedos stuff cash down the front of my pants and make them pay more because they touched my 'little man' HAHAHAHAH! Im so terrible. im joking...who in their right mind would want to do THAT as a career? The answer is ME OF COURSE HAHAHA! No im kidding...seriously...Dont fuck about with me...I know what your thinking...You readers are probably 50 year old men wanting to stalk me...HAHA!

So anyways, when I first entered the classroom with all the other snot-nosed slaggers and sat down in the far corner with my legs up on the desk, the teacher was like 'Excooth me young man but could you remove your legs from ontop of the table pleath?''. Erm but EXCOOTH ME..NOBODY ORDERTH ME AROUNDTHTHTHTHT. Lisping loonatic...

He even cut his eyes at me...He you prat, I only just meet you and this is how you treat me? Ugh..If Claude was here I would of ordered him to be eaten..But then again he must not have a soul..Old bag. Either that or Claude would probably look at him and think ''EW! DAYUM OLDIE YOU SCARY!'' HAHA! Nah, Im sure Claude wouldnt mind. As long as he eats a soul hes fine...or..eats SOMETHING I guess.

After registration, we got taken into this other class where we had to sit through an hour long lecture on some boring crap. I wasnt paying the slightest attention, I was just picking at my nails. Then someone called my name from the side of me and I looked up and saw this big busted chick. She asked me If anyone was sitting next to her and I said no, so she took a seat. And her tits jiggled as she did...I felt weird...Well, you know what they all say, S-,N-,B-,M- (Put your answer under the your comment ). She introduced herself to me, her name is Elliana. Soon before that, we got chatting away. We were in the classroom for 2 whole hours blanking out everything else and we were chatting like crazy. She seemed to really like me too. Time to get my groove on! OHOHOHHIHO! LOOK OUT PEOPLE..THE BUTTERFLY HAS LANDED!...Hehe..that was so cheesy.

We also hanged out during break time. I let her in on a secret. I told her I was head of the Trancy and she flipped haha. She was acting all graceful, watching what she says incase she said something bad or something. I also told her about Claude and Hannah and the triplets. And one day I would invite her over for the evening. She loved the sound of it. I cant believe I was being NICE. Thats very rare in me you know. But then again, shes sexy HAAAHAHHA!

After break, we headed back to the class. But had a different teacher. Her name was called . What a stupid surname. She looked terrible, frizzy dry brown hair. She had these hideously huge black and white glasses on and bright red lipstick. I thought I was going to go blind. Elliana was sitting with some other bloke, she seemed really into him. She looked like she was flirting with him, curling her hair around her fingers and flicking it back over her shoulders, pulling up her tights every 5 minutes. Probably to get his attention. Pfft. Your not half as good looking as me mate.

Turned out it was her 80E4Y6T0RYEFUOEYTR5- EW WHO WOULD EVER...UGH...ACK!...GAOOOOOO0-AAAAAAH!..EH!...Ok im done.

I decided to try and get her attention every way possible, but it just led me to getting into trouble and later on was sent to another classroom. THAT got her to look at me as I left the room, she looked puzzled, and she asked my before the teacher closed the door and I said '' We going to get groovy'' and that made her laugh. Though she look a tad dissapointed that I was no longer in the room.

I got sent into this other room with younger brats..Until I spotted little Blue Staf Ciel, who was sat at the back looking bored as ever, when he spotted me, he groaned. And I went to go sit next to him. ''Hello doggie'' and everyone started laughing. Guess they knew or her told him he was head PhancyHives.

...This should be interesting...AHAHAHAHA I STOLE ONE OF HIS LINES


	3. WHY GOD WHY?

**Ciel's Diary- 1st School Day**

I cant BELIEVE he was been put in the same class as me. When he saw me, he gave me that little evil smirk he always does, which means hes up to no good. You know what he's like. Once he's thought of something mischievous there's no stopping him. He wont let anyone get in his way. But when he came to say next to me, he didn't really do anything. Not what I was expecting. Maybe he couldn't be bothered...So I thought..

About 20 minutes into the lesson, he started acting like a fool, making the other students laugh and at the same time, get them into trouble by the teacher, . But Alois didn't seem to care obviously. He just carried on like as if he and the other students didn't give a damn. Soon enough put Alois at the other side of the room at the back where no one sat. He just kept glaring at me weirdly, trying to make me laugh. What are you a clown? Give up the day job Alois..

The class went silent after a huge aggressive shout from , everyone had gone back to writing in their books. Apart from Alois of course. He kept throwing bit of screwed up paper at me, telling me something but I couldn't understand what he was trying to say. Then I clocked that he was telling me to open it. So I unraveled the bits of paper, read what it said then jumped out of my chair and yelled ''YOU BLOODY SICK BASTARD!'' and everyone just stared at me, and Alois started laughing and said ''YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO'' and we both got into trouble. said we have to stay after school and talk to him about our rude behavior. When I wasn't the one who started it off in the first place. I'm not even going to bother write what the notes said either. Its THAT bad, not to mention a complete, utter embarrassment. My cheeks had gone all pinkish-red. It was horrible.

After that double lesson, it was break time, so I quickly jumped into the crowed of students in the playground before Alois could spot me. But he was with that girl again, though I could tell he was looking for me because he kept looking around and the girl was asking him why. At least she kept him company for the whole of break, when the bell rang, I went straight to my art class. BUT HE GOT THERE BEFORE ME! HOW WAS OR IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? HE WAS STILL WITH THE GIRL WHEN I WENT INTO THE BUILDING..Dear oh dear...

AND WHATS HE STILL DOING HERE ANYWAYS? Surely his teacher would of taken him back by now?  
>Ugh..this just keeps getting worse and worse. And again, he sat next to me...This time I didn't really have a choice getting a seat away from him, he already saved me one...Next lesson, I'm going to make sure I'm the one in the class first. That should settle the score then. Our teacher was very nice, her name is . She is a very layed back and kind teacher, unlike most of the other teachers I have that only care about getting payed. She made us feel very welcome. She gave us an easy warm up exercise to start off this, since this was our first art lesson. ''I would like you to draw something that describes YOU. Its all about you, your personalities, hobbies, you know, all them kinds of things. Afterwards, I would also like you to present them to everyone, let them also know who you are and your interests. A very simple easy way to make friends.'' she said. And everyone started talking, saying what they were going to draw. But I wasn't quite sure on what to draw since there isn't anything I like in particular...I don't like to talk about it..But then I soon came up with an idea, and got on with it straight away.<p>

''MISS, YOU HAVEN'T REALIZED WHO OR WHAT IS SITTING NEXT TO ME HAVE YOU?'' Alois shouted, which made me jump and squiggle over the page. Twat..I quickly put my head down but even the students were telling her. ''Oh my! You must be the Queen's g- please..don't'' I interrupted, as she could see I felt uncomfortable with the whole school knowing. Though Sebastian didn't seem to care when he informed the school about me coming...

About 15-20 minutes, everyone was drawing and colouring. Even Alois. He must feel embarrassed doing kiddies things, as hes 14 not 4. I even herd him say something similar to that. He was all ''Ugh..what kind of shit is this? Forget that..I'm going to make my own unique version. Better then everyone else's''. Oh really?

After another 15-20 minutes it was time to present them to the class. I was 7th to go up, Alois wanted to be first. So he stood up and walked to the front of the class room. But he didn't have any paper with him, he just stood there like the sad person he is. Everyone was confused. ''You 4got your paper, stupid'' I said to him, but he just stood there, looking all impressed. ''Exactly, why waste paper on something like this when you can use your mouth without it costing nor wasting anything?'' Wasting our time more like...

''As some of you may already know, I'm Alois Trancy, yes, THEE Alois Trancy, head of the Trancy, its quite obvious. I don't need to own a little frilly company to know who's boss around here...like someone we all know..'' and he looked at me with that look again, and everyone started giggling. I just ignored it all and they shut up. Yeah, they knew I was being serious, I had that look on my face like as if I was saying ''Laugh and I'll bite your head off.'' Ugh..Hes such a showoff. Somehow everyone was impressed by him. Even herself. Showoff..Alois I WILL get you back for this. I always keep to my word.

After the 6th person was me, So I stood up, taking my folder with me, As I opened it and introduced myself, everything was yelling with fright and shock, I didn't know what was wrong until I looked myself and even I yelled...''...YOU FUCKING..SICK...BASTARD!'' and Alois almost dropped backwards off his chair with such laughter. My whole face was now red and now EVERYONE was laughing. Well, apart from , who thought it was very harsh of Alois and send him outside. He pressed his face against the glass of the door and dragged it downwards making that annoying screeching noise. Pig...

Then everyone was getting the feeling that me and Alois are DATING! HOW BLOODY SICK MINDED CAN THESE HUMANS GET! Glad I never was one..Well...Not one anymore rather?  
>Whatever..So yes, everyone was getting the idea that me and Alois had something special going on amongst each other. It began to annoy me to Hell when everyone starting saying we actually made a 'cure couple'. I wanted to puke all over them..<p>

''Alois and Ciel sitting in the tree, doing what they shouldn't be'' chorused the students.

Finally the day ended after the detention and Sebastian and Claude came to pick me and Alois us and apolagised to the teachers.

Sebastian didn't looked pleased, neither did Claude.  
>..Get ready for a long trip home..<p> 


	4. SSSKEEEEEEWL O3O

**Alois's Diary-ABC'S 123'S P2**

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY I was put in the same class as my little Blueberry. Now I shall annoy him to death MHUAHAHAHA! I took a seat next to him and said ''...Well well well...if it isn't little PhancyHive'' and he tried to ignore me but he gave me a look like ''...Piss off..'' HAHAH oh how I love his face expressions when he sees me. Ok, so, this freak of a teacher called gave us these books and we were suppose to answer some questions while he wrote what we were going to be doing for today but as always I had better plans. I leaned back against my chair and put my hands behind my head and relaxed as everyone was whispering to their friends. And then I went ''Ahem'' and everyone looked at me as I pulled a weird face and said ''Arrest me baby *snort*'' which made them all laugh, apart from Blueberry of course. turned to write something up on the blackboard and I quickly stood up on my chair and started dancing in a rather..um...grown up way? I mean, what can you say, I was born for this. The whole class started to laugh and I made some rather unattractive expression which made it even worse. See kiddies? This is way better then actual school.

But then oh poo, I got caught and I quickly jumped back down onto the chair rather hard...and I hurt my testicles...I felt tears prick the back of my eyes, NOT a good sight. Then I said quietly to Ciel ''Shut it...hehe get it?'' he just looked at me and shook his head and said ''You are terrible''...Then I get sent to the other side of the room..I just sat there giving Ciel sexy looks and he actually blushed this time! SUCCESS! He KNOWS he likes the attention. Little Slut. Even though I didnt make him laugh, I got his attention and that's good enough for me.

Then the teacher shouts at me AGAIN, which made everyone shut up and do their work. The bloody fuck is his problem exactly? I may be blonde, but I sure aint stupid HAHAHAHAHA...Ahem...Anyways...

I was bored so I decided to write little messages on pieces of paper and throw them at Ciel and one landed right infront of him and he gave me a long hard and confusing look, I was mouthing to him ''Open It!'' and he finaly caught on. So he opened it and he stood up and shouted ''YOU BLOODY SICK BASTARD!'' and it made me laugh so hard I almost fell off of my chair. PERFECT! We both got in trouble and was told to stay after school and talk to the about our rude behavior...

You can take your detention and shove it up your...ehehe...:

Break time finaly came around thank goodness I didnt think I was going to make it our alive. Though it was funny. Ciel was the first to leave the room and I was going to chase him but coudlnt be bothered, I'd just spot his little blue head in the crowd in the playgrounds. But couldnt spot him ANYWHERE! Probably gone to the toilets..doing something rather...HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH oh dear..

So there I was in the middle of the playgrounds standing like a Nool insearch of a Blueberry until my friend Elliana came towards me and we were chatting away. She was concerned why I was looking around, but I said it was nothing as I could see it was starting to bother her, and I really liked her so we took a seat on the bench and talked until the bell rang and she said she had to make her way to her class.

I spotted Ciel making a dash for the door because he saw me spot him, so I took a shortcut to our next class. He was suprised to see me already there and had saved a seat for him. Score! Then the teacher came in afterwards. She looked HOT I tell you!

We had to make pictures and show them to the class afterwards, pfft, thats what they do at Infant School. I on the other hand, had a brilliant idea...for me AND Ciel...hehe

I drew this really naughty picture of him and me doing..something and slipped it into his folder, so when it came to showing the class, Bingo...

I wanted to go first and so I stood up and walked to the front until Ciel decided to be a smartass and tell me I forgot my paper, well heres what you forgot...YOUR BALLS! HAH! HAHAHHAAHHA! My presentation was probably the most been put effort into as I was the only one who didnt have a picture, but myself as the presentation hahaha smart no?

Ciel was the 7th to come up and when he showed his work to everyone, I was literally in stitched and almost fell backwards IT WAS PERFECT! Everyone in the class had to completely BONKERS! Some were laughing while others were going ''EEEW'' Sooner or later everyone was thinking Ciel had a thing for me HAHAHAHA. I knew he was going to get me back for it in the future but I have plenty more tricks down my pants...I MEAN up my sleeves HAAHAHAHAAHAH.

The day went by quite quickly, but wasnt over yet as we still had to go see so we sat in the classroom away from eachother and just gave dirty looks haha. Ciel got caught twice so afterwards he put his head down. IT WAS SO FUNNY! He got so annoyed.  
>Time was up and I dashed out the room before he could kill me. Sebastian and Claude were both standing at the gate with arms crossed looking disapointed in us both as we looked at eachother. ''And thats the reason why I didnt want to attend school'' said Ciel to Sebastian as he climbed into the carriage.<p>

Something tells me that there is going to be a huge lecture on this when we get home...  
>Oh well...<p>

- bye.


End file.
